Saturday, October 13, 2012

Banana Republican


            Facts seldom matter in the United States. Perception produced by spin has become the fabric of our lives. A tweet is currency, unlike an essay: it not only gets to the point, it is the point because it is pointed and flies like an arrow. Give a zinger, and don’t linger. In God We Trust. 
            Obama lost the first debate not only because his energy was low; he lost it because he succumbed to factuality. The problem with an incumbent is that he goes through a metamorphosis during his first term. He starts out as a butterfly, all colorful and full of light. By the time four years are up he has transformed into a dung beetle. All the crap of his presidency is dragged out into the open for all to see, rolled up into a ball, and attached to him with a chain. He can deliver slivers of reality all he wants, but the public is already gawking at a new butterfly full of promises.
            The new butterfly, Mitt Romney, is all silver and gold, except for his face, which is bronze. He twinkles and flits from position to position like a butterfly in a flower garden.  He is a creature above it all, far out of reach of any political iguana with a sharp tongue. You get the impression from his post-debate campaign that he somehow spoke truth to pretense and pummeled defenseless Obama with fact after fact until the President stood listless on the podium at Magness Arena. For someone who never found success in sports, Romney sure looked agile.
            The truth is Magness Arena should be renamed Madness Arena after Romney’s brazen use of weapons of mass deception and Obama’s apparent shock that Romney dared to use them on prime time television. It was rope-a-dope time with Mitt transforming from mere butterfly to spider in butterfly disguise threading the stage with so much supply-side spin Obama became a rapt wrapper – just another suit.
            Now Romney is pro-abortion. At the debate he was suddenly pro-regulation. By the end of his campaign he will have had so many pros and cons the American public will finally conclude he is nothing but a PROfessional CON-artist.  But no: The American public is so gullible, so emotional, so star-struck by anything that glitters it will embrace the face and ignore the truth. This brazen-faced butterfly Romney just may land in the White House, not because he has a coherent philosophy or plan.
             Politics is really a form of professional wrestling (ask Linda McMahon of Connecticut) where the candidates dress up in gaudy platitudes and promises and do battle on a stage. The guy who looks the best at the end wins, never mind how many real blows he lands.
            America is essentially becoming a banana republic in so many ways, not the least of which is signaled by the growing divide between rich and poor. That so many in the 47 percent could vote for a man who writes them off suggests just how irrational America is.  Tea Partier is an inappropriate name for them. Banana Republican is much better.     
            Here’s a definition of a Banana Republican: a person who is duped into voting against his own interests either by himself or by somebody else. He may be a member of the Tea Party or just some uninformed voter who cannot or will not separate the facts from the chaff. He may be a billionaire or a pauper. What he does not understand is that Democrats have presided over the greatest increases in both the stock market and the main street market over the last 80 years. Republicans have presided over none.* He fails to understand that we are all better off when we are all better off.
            Let’s face it. If you sit in front of Rush Limbaugh or Fox News and absorb the high calorie-low nutrition political diet they feed you, you will vote against your self-interest. It’s as simple as that. Big Brother Rush is in your head, in your gut, not Big Government or Big Bird.  If there is any trickle down dynamic going on out there in America, it is trickle-down self-deception. 

* See The Economist: Buttonwood: “Voting with the wallet” October 6, 2012

Saturday, October 6, 2012

Mitt Romney: Automobile


            Mitt Romney’s father made cars and ran for president. Mitt, it turns out, IS an automobile. Granted, he is tireless and doesn’t absorb bumps well like most cars, but he does offer a host of features that are remarkable.
            For example, the Mitt does not require you to select a color. It is a mechanical chameleon capable of changing colors as it goes. If you are feeling bright and sunny and want to project warmth, you simply have to reflect that feeling and your new Mitt will turn red or orange depending on whether or not you are in Florida, where oranges are popular or Vermont where the leaves turn bright red in autumn. However, the default color is white to reflect both the slimming but still majority of the U.S. population as well as the aura of innocence and purity.
            Another feature of the Mitt is that it can change direction on a dime. One minute it can be cruising along a route that is straight and narrow and suddenly you find your Mitt making a turn and heading in a direction quite different from the one you expected. It has a kind of creative GPS and route program that shifts without notice but adapts to the environment and circumstances of the moment. In other words, the Mitt may ride hard over bumps but it slithers along reading the landscape and adapting to what it sees as efficiency and expediency. It may run roughshod over lower orders of life such as American workers and big birds, but it does have the capacity to carry caged canines on its roof.
            The Mitt is a handsome car but rather expensive. It requires millions of dollars to keep it running and can only operate on high octane dollars from crude sources. Fortunately, it has a fuel injection system directly into its tank from nearly all the major oil companies, so it never has to worry about running out of fuel.
            You may not have ever heard of a car running for president, but let me remind you that it is not the first machine to run. Back in the 1920s we had a Hoover win an election, and we all know what happened with that result. It really sucked.