The New and Improved Department of Defense

Numerous right wingers have called for the elimination of the federal Department of Education. All right let’s do it. Let’s get rid of it and, instead, put education in the hands of the Department of Defense. Here’s why.

It would kill two birds with one stone. The “birds” the move would kill is the wishy-washy Department of Education that sets standards then gives waivers to any state that requests them. Would the Department of Defense do such a thing? I think not. Noses would be held to the grindstone? You betcha! The other “bird” would be the federal government's tendency to use the Department of Defense to start wars in other people’s back yards and thus leaving a semi-permanent bad taste in the mouths of those who are left to live in those yards. They would now be so challenged by educating American youth they would not have the time or energy to run off to, say Afghanistan or Pakistan to fight another away game. They would be forced to maintain a home schedule.

Now, some would argue that a department whose motto of late is “Don’t ask. Don’t tell” is probably not the one to foster open inquiry or a search for truth, but not to worry. They would have so much money available compared to the old Department of Education, Defense could easily reduce school size to, say, that of a company (max: 190) and class size to that of a squadron (max: 12). There would be no more problems with dress codes, haircuts, child obesity, class-cutting, classroom discipline, or graduation rates. Standards would be upheld, waivers would be non-existent, and attitudes would be positive, or else.

The federal government, through the Department of Defense, in turn, would have to focus on a real enemy instead of having to invent one. That real enemy, of course, is ignorance. Since there is no danger of running low on that omnipresent commodity, we need never worry about lacking a genuine, legitimate target. All of our defense resources could be focused against this enemy with full confidence we are doing the right thing. It’s a win-win situation all around.

The federal government would have to use the Department of Defense, in turn, to focus on the real enemy instead of having to invent one. That real enemy, of course, is ignorance. Since there is no danger of running low on that omnipresent commodity, we need never worry about lacking a genuine, legitimate target. All of our defense resources could be focused on that enemy without ever fearing that the public would get tired and disillusioned and want to withdraw from the fight. Since ignorance, like terrorism, comes in many forms and includes terrorism itself, we can open up our offense full throttle.

Imagine putting the ingenuity of Lockheed-Martin or GE or even Halliburton in the fight against ignorance. Why even they might benefit from seeing ignorance as the enemy and develop better tools and weapons to combat it perhaps even within their own midst once they are able to identify the nature of true ignorance, thanks to the help the Department of Defense will undoubtedly give them.

All in all, it is a great move, one that will save the country, reform our youth, and provide our richest department with a useful opportunity to invest its seemingly unlimited resources. I say, let’s do it. Let’s turn our Department of Defense loose on ourselves instead of on foreign entities and look forward to a better America.

You Are The Sum Total of the Stories You Believe

The 19th Century versions of Three Little Pigs were bloody and fatal to the two pigs who built their houses of straw and sticks. Their houses were blown down and they were summarily eaten by the wolf. The only survivor was the shrewd and more deliberate pig who built his house of brick. He even ended up eating the wolf, alone.
Today in Europe we have countries (Greece, Italy, Portugal, Spain, to name a few) that have built straw and stick entitlement houses and are now begging the brick builders, Germany and France, to bail them out. The straw and stick “houses” were constructed by smoke and mirror financing and left to future generations to pay for them. Unfortunately, the birth-rate dropped and there were fewer new little pigs to earn the income to pay for the straw and stick entitlement houses, and the folks who were financially and strategically able to build brick houses in the first place are now footing the bill for those whose straw and stick houses are in danger of being blown away.
The brick-builders of the world are the ants in the Aesop fable The Grasshopper and the Ant. They listened to the story and took it to heart. They did not frivolously play and spend the summer of their lives only to find they had not enough to carry them through the winter years of retirement. Bully for them. But does that mean they get to be bullies?
A more modern version of Three Little Pigs has the straw-building pig running to the stick-building pig for shelter when the wolf blows his house down. Then, when the wolf levels the stick house, the two pigs finally run to the bricklayer pig’s house where they survive, thanks to his foresight and generosity. One wonders that the generation who grew up seeing in cartoon form this later version did not internalize its message and now suffer the consequences of not hearing or believing the more Darwinian one.
In Europe the Germans and French so far are taking in their profligate brethren in Greece and elsewhere. They are lending them the money to ostensibly rebuild firmer and sustainable houses. Whether or not the Greeks or Italians actually do that remains to be seen. Meanwhile, in America, the on-going Wild West version of the story looks more like the 19th Century one. The Brick-builders who keep getting richer by the minute are not about to take in the suffering pigs who were counting on Social Security and Medicare to keep the wolf at bay and carry them through old age. Instead, they are throwing bricks at them and blaming them for their stupidity in believing the slippery, cunning faux bricklayers in the first place that they too could have a brick house if only they signed right here on the dotted line. It turns out the loans were made of straw and the less fortunate got nothing but a stick in the eye. Meanwhile, the slippery banker faux brick-layers made millions or even billions.
We are at a cross roads in the world economy and in America. Which version of the Three Little Pigs will play out? Will we take in those who were duped and destroyed by the Buy Now, Pay Later ethos of the late 20th Century, or will we simply shut the door on them and leave them to the wolves?
In a sense the early version of the story is very Old Testament in flavor. The God of Wrath is alive and well and comes to us as the wolf that devours two out of three pigs – not a bad haul. Only the wily, clever, and long-range thinking pig survives, but he has no brethren. It’s the old bomb-shelter mentality of the Cold War.
The more modern version is more New Testament, more so-called Christian, more God of Love. The short-sighted pigs are taken in by the wiser brother and cared for while they presumably learn an important lesson and start building sustainably this next time.
Is it not strange that the religious Christian right seems inclined to adopt the Old Testament version rather than the New? That it is more inclined to smite than to suffer the foolish and forlorn? If the Germans and French can turn the other cheek and open their purses for foreign profligates, why cannot wealthy Americans do so for their very own countrymen by taxing themselves a little more as they bring government spending and entitlements to sustainability?
Is it the strain of self-righteousness (a form of narcissism) that drives the brick-layers to become brick-throwers? There is no tea being dumped by the Tea Party. There is only “I told you so” brick-throwing. It is time to stop the cruel self-righteousness which is the opposite of how almost any religious or humane philosophy suggests we behave. Enough is enough. It is time for real problem-solving, real brick-laying, not pretense and theatre.