Neanderthals Discovered in Arizona

I just returned from visiting a family member in Arizona over the past weekend. I felt safe from harassment by police enforcing the new laws declaring undocumented folks criminals and human-animal hybrids illegal because I entered the state from the north and confined my stay to the Flagstaff area. As far as I know, I am all right in the documented department but after last week’s announcement by some researchers who have decoded the entire genome of the Neanderthals and found that most folks of European and Asian stock probably have from 1 to 4 percent Neanderthal genes floating in their systems, the second law on hybrids makes me feel a little uneasy. After all, we are not quite sure Neanderthals are classified as humans or merely as some sort of advanced apes, but the combination of the new Arizona law (SB 1307) and the new genetic discovery that most of us white folks carry some percentage of Neanderthal blood in us presents this new hybrid law with something of a challenge.
Of course a further study, say of Democrats and Republicans, might reveal that one party might carry a greater percentage of Neanderthal blood than the other, in which case, a proposal could be made to outlaw the party with the greatest percentage of Neanderthal blood, thereby keeping the human population from being subjected to counter-evolutionary forces that might retard or even reverse human advancement.
My bet is the party with the most Neanderthal blood would be the Republicans. The irony would be that they are the ones who are busy making sure that our blood remains as pure as possible by questioning the legitimacy of Latino presence in the state of Arizona (SB1070), the legitimacy of the U. S. President’s birth certificate (SB 2937), and the close proximity of animals to human fertility labs (SB 1307).
Speaking of President Obama’s pedigree, he undoubtedly carries less Neanderthal blood than any other former president because half of his ancestry is African. According to the Neanderthal genome researchers, Africans contain not even a trace of Neanderthal blood, making them the purest of the purely human.
What the Arizona Republicans really want is for the whole state to become a gated community by spending billions of tax dollars building a wall across its southern border. Only a Neanderthal could come up with such a preposterous construct, so I assume, based on that evidence, that the Republicans have already broken their new SB 1307 law and are therefore no longer qualified to be residents of their own state.